Why won’t you dance monkey, dance!!!!!

My children, 4 in two days and 7, have discovered the world of Moshi Monsters.  It is quite similar to Webkinz, but a bit darker and twisted as you create “monsters” instead of having an animal to care for and play with.  We may or may not have already taken it as far as we possible can. For the past two weeks my children have spoken of nothing else. Can I play Moshi Monsters? Can I play Moshi Monsters? When can I play Moshi Monsters? Are you playing Moshi Monsters? Yes, yes, that is what I do if I get one second of my own time on the computer. Moshi Monsters.

I find it ironic that a couple of weeks ago I was getting the business from my 7-year-old about spending too much time on the computer, and now my days are filled with endless, mindless Moshi Monster activity. Let me tell you, even if they get it there is everlasting requests or whining. Can you help me? I can’t do this. HELP!!!!! Not to mention: Stop bothering me! Aaaaa! Get away!!!  I can’t take another break down because the Moshi garden they planted didn’t attract a Moshling yet.

I’m not sure if this is what is really bothering me, or if it is the incessant whining from my children requiring me to entertain them like a monkey. Dance Monkey Dance! The screaming and crying, the end of the world!!! It’s coming in an apocalyptic explosion because I can’t play Moshi Monsters or you won’t watch me swim or play a game with me or dress up like a princess with pink make up worthy of a 2-cent whore! Jesus! You are single-handedly the absolutely worst parent in the world!!!! Who gave you your parent card, REVOKED! Turn it in, and now I want to go live with my dad! (that hasn’t come up yet, but it’s a breath away…)

Or maybe it’s the never ending screaming and crying about how my sister is ruining my life! She won’t leave me alone! She just _____(insert favorite) hit, pushed, punched, bit, or looked at me the wrong way!!!!!!

This coupled with the fact that I am now under the stress of making sure the house is cleaned up, with no real parameters or rules for what, when, where or how to clean up, and in charge of making dinner, I am near volatile. Some days I clean up and its fine, other days I do the exact same thing and I get, “didn’t get anything done today?” or “what did you do today?” OMG! Seriously, a person can only do so much! Maybe I should dance like a monkey with a broom up my ass so I can entertain and clean at the same time! Geesh, give a girl a break!

Sorry for the rant, but I needed that… Thanks, I feel better…

25 Facts About Me

This is totally stolen from a facebook note I wrote a couple of years ago, but it was funny to look back at it and make comments inside my head about the validity of each of them. [See those comments in red ;-)]

1. I am secretly addiction to Barbie movies True

2. I am afraid of heights so much so that I don’t even go near the edge at the mall in the upper level because I’m afraid someone will push me over. True

3. Despite #2, I once went on this thing at Six Flags where they pull you up on a wire and you pull a cord then you go flying and swinging in an arc. I think it was called Dragonwings or something midevil like that. True

4. I wish I was closer to my brother, but find it hard to talk to him anymore. Hmm, not so much anymore, after my divorce things picked up again…

5. I am a Democrat – hard core. Eh, I don’t get politics anymore and I’m pretty sure the country’s going to hell in a handbasket anyway…

6. I had to call the ambulance when I was pregnant with Lainey because I had the “urge” to push and my husband was taking a shower and getting ready for work. When we were in the delivery room, he was all comfy on the couch and when the nurse was on the phone with the doctor and told him he needed to get there NOW, because I was going to have the baby, my husband jumped off the couch and yelled, “we’re going to have the baby today?” BWaaaaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Turns out the jerk was cheating on me the whole time! Well, that explains alot!!!!

7. My best friend was in the delivery room for my second child. My mom was wicked pissed. This is true on both counts, but I think my mom is over it now.  Side note: My friend was wicked pissed because I didn’t “struggle” enough…

8. My grandma and her twin once took me, my brother, and our cousins on a hanson carriage ride down Michigan Avenue in 20 degree weather after we had been swimming at the hotel pool and while they were three sheets to the wind. True – I should blog about this sometime… is their a category for growing up around elderly alcoholics?

9. Continuing #8, they use to make us go to dinner and then sit at the piano bar while they sang and drank themselves into oblivion. Surprisingly enough, I”m not an alcoholic. Hmmm, I’m not an alcoholic, but I am somewhat of a binge drinker now-a-days…

10. I smoke, but am petrified I will get mouth cancer. Mmmm, not so much anymore…

11. I am a hypochondriac about everything really, cancer, tumors, stroke…you name it. I even talked my doctor into doing a EKG once when I thought I was having a heart attack. True, but I’ve been on the wagon for a few months now…

12. I was once diagnosed as a chronic recurrant depressive. I forget to take my meds everyday. My husband left me for another woman he was seeing for 2+ years and I lost my job because of it just months later, ’nuff said? Yeah, yeah, I’m in therapy… (and I don’t forget my meds quite as often anymore, but watch out if I do!)

13. I majored in Chemistry when I first tried college, but dropped out of all of my chemistry classes by the middle of the first semster. Yep

14. My second try at college, I got a minor in Geology. Also yep

15. See above, I love rocks and earth science and secretly want to be a geologist. I don’t live around many rocks. True

16. I wish I had more money to travel, but when I do have the opportunity to visit somewhere I will back out at the last minute because I hate leaving home. Hmm, I’d like to work more on this one…

17. I love my girls, but become giddy like a school girl when I get to go somewhere without them. Mmm, not so much anymore, when you get every other weekend without them you start to miss them. Also, I live with my parents so I don’t have to do everything on my own. (Note that when I first wrote this, I still had a hsuband, yeah, not around much…wonder why?)

18. I met my husband working as his boss at Ancient Oaks Day Camp at Sommer Park. I should have left him at AODC

19. We were engaged after only three months. Shoulda been my first clue…

20. I am becoming a Catholic and am afraid I will be ex-communicated after my first reconciliation. Um yeah, I wasn’t ex-communicated after that per say, but let’s just say I no longer welcome in Catholic schools.

21. I am addicted to Cafe Mochas and have to have one every morning. Not anymore, had one the other day and about hit the roof, then crashed for a day and a half.

22. I wish I had more quality time with my best friends. Every other weekend!  But I miss a lot of my other friends, because they have like, jobs or something.

23. I use to bowl in a bowling league on Thrusday nights. True

24. Once, when I was pregnant with Lainey and on bed rest I rearranged the entire living room, including the couch and giant old school 32
inch TV. Totally true, and let’s just say my husband was “in-disposed” at that time, so I did a lot of shit I really shouldn’t have been doing while on bed rest.

25. I love baseball and wish I understood it more, I would love to be an expert in it. True