You know that time…

You know how you can be going along after a really bad spell in life, and be like “It’s going good, keep going, you’re great, you’re awesome, you can do this, whew, the worst part is over…” and then all of a sudden WHAM! Reality smacks you square in the face? It’s not even a horrible thing, just a minor change in your normal routine, or doing something stupid at work, or missing a couple of days of your meds.  (What? I didn’t say that. That didn’t happen. I would NEVER do that. Well,  maybe.)

All of a sudden everything seems horrible, and the smallest thing becomes the biggest thing in your head.  Like messing up at work.  You are probably harder on yourself than anyone else ever could be.  You are dramatic and irrational in your head. (Yes, it’s only in your head, don’t make the crazies come out and set you straight.) You have yourself fired or leaving your job because you will NEVER be able to be good at it. Your children ignore you when you see them at a softball game after being away from you for a weekend. Your horrible, you should just give up now.  You will never be able to save any money, or achieve any of your life goals. You’ll never get a house and you’ll be living at Shady Acres retirement home with your parents when you’re 50.

All the while you have five other people arguing with you in your head.  Or not arguing, trying to “talk you off of the ledge” so to speak.  It’s not really that bad, it was your first time doing that particular task, you’re bound to make some mistakes.  Next week your routine will be back to the usual, it’s not like you’ll never see your friend again, or you’ll be stuck at home until you retire. Your kids are kids, get over it… Seriously, keep moving forward. It’s fine, it’s fine. And for God’s sake take your meds! Everyday!

Yeah, I don’t really know what that’s like either….er, yeah, I mean no, no I don’t know what that’s like…

It’s times like these when I begin to realize just how important medication is…

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