I bet you didn’t know…

I was driving home from wherever it is I was today with Ella, and I was thinking about all of the stupid shit I have done in my life.  I mean really dumb stuff. Like there was the time when I was like 19 and I went out and bought a stick shift car, but I didn’t know how to drive a stick shift. Um, I had to call my dad and be like, “Dad? I bought a new car today. Would you mind going with me to pick it up and drive it home. Yeah, it’s a stick shift. No, I don’t know how to drive a stick shift. K, thanks.”

Then there was the time when I shaved my head, 1997 maybe? I would have been about 20 or 21.  Three months later was my brother’s wedding in which I was a bridesmaid.  I’m not really sure how my sister-in-law and I get along. I mean we get along, I just don’t know how she didn’t manage to kill me, or say something really mean to me, or do something equally horrifying to me at my own wedding.  Which, would have served me right for doing it to her, and for marrying the dork that I did… but that’s another stupid thing I did that would take a really long time to explain…

Then there were the times I would go out partying with friends and drive home. You know how you get halfway home and realize you have no idea how you got to the point where you were?  Yeah, I really hope my kids never do that shit.  I was SO stupid and I can’t believe sometimes I’m still alive…

Oh, oh… then there was the time I graduated from high school and thought I would go out and do something really great, better than what my brother did in college, or where he went, or what all of the other people I went to high school with were going to do with their lives, like teach… I went to Bradley University and majored in Chemistry, but dropped all of my chemistry classes by like the fourth week of school, and then the following semester dropped out after I had pledged a sorority and moved into the house and was on academic probation, and had changed my major to, you know it, education. Fun times, fond memories…

Then there was the time about a year and a half ago I shaved my head AGAIN, because I was teaching in a school with no air conditioning and got really hot one day and just decided to shave it all off.  That ended up in disaster with my then husband divorcing me (NOT due to the shaved head, at least I don’t think so…) and my losing my job six months later (also not due to the head shaving, or again, at least I don’t think so…)

Honestly those are just a few, but I bet they give you more than a little TMI about me to make to think twice when you run into me again… I am a dumb chick sometimes, but hey, it’s never a dull moment! Truth.

One thought on “I bet you didn’t know…”

  1. I love the stick shift story. That’s freaking awesome. It totally sounds like something I would have done. I’m still dying to learn how to properly drive a stick. I can do it, but not well.

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