Over the course of the past year my eyes have been opened to stark, saddening realities. Divorce, infidelity, self-centeredness, and lack of compassion for others seems to be inundating the world these days. I’m sure it’s been happening for years, in fact I know it has, from first hand experience within my own, older family members. Much of it was just hearsay and logical guessing back in those days, but over the years these acts within a marriage seem to be coming to the forefront of our society. Divorce was an unuttered word back then, not an option. If your husband was cheating on you it was quiet and unspoken. I’m not saying it was a better solution, but what ever happened to working things out together? Or is that just a pipe dream, something taught to you in school or in church, not a realistic solution? A marriage is nothing if it isn’t a partnership, a two-sided affair. Where do people get the courage today to say, “I’m not happy right now at this moment, I haven’t ever been happy. We have done nothing in the way of trying to work out the real problem, but I have decided, single mindedly, on my own, that this is over. There is nothing you can say or do to change my mind, and there is no working it out.”
All of this makes me wonder if there is such a thing as a perfect marriage or relationship, or even anything close. Don’t get me wrong, I know that all relationships have their ups and downs and ins and outs, but there seems to be an overwhelming alignment of personal centered individuals who are not meant for relationships to innocent and unsuspecting others. Even my own family relationships, or other’s I have observed, have been filled with beating each other down to the point where you feel guilty or stressed out because you aren’t living up to another person’s expectations.
The bottom line is I’m wondering, is it safe for a disenchanted girl like me to think that someday she might have the chance at love again. I’m talking about a relationship, not just blind, unadulterated love that has no substance or depth. A connection with someone. I know it all sounds cheesy, still a little girl’s dream of white weddings, the 3.5 kids with the house and a picket fence. I just want a person who is going to be honest with me and up front about what they want, someone who is real and genuine. There are far too few people like that out there today, at least it seems that way in my world. Is it just me? Do I gravitate to the wrong types of people? I can’t see how that is possible when there have been no less than at least five stories I have heard in the last year about broken marriages, and homes, homes with children and foundations that are crumbling under people’s feet. Maybe I am just becoming more aware of it now that it has happened to me. Maybe my eyes were closed to it before, because I though it couldn’t, it wouldn’t, ever touch me.
I don’t want to ask for much, just someone we can all be ourselves with, someone who builds us up and not knocks us down, someone who can ask for what they need and continue to give to other’s as needed, someone who can see the forest for the trees, the bigger picture in life.
I hope that you have found someone who can do all of these things for you, and you can do these things for them. Unfortunately that seems to be a rarity these days. But for us daydreamers, the hope is for the reality of love in mankind. That everyone will one day be able to see the forest for the trees. The bigger picture, and that is love.
~All we need is love…~ John Lennon