I had an epiphany this morning. Apparently I am an ass because I felt that I should get a pass on actually having to be accountable for my actions, or non-actions as they may be. For the past year I have not been holding myself accountable for the things I need to be doing as a person to continue to maintain my integrity. I suppose I would give myself a pass up until about May of last year, but anything beyond that I really should have been getting my shit together and carrying on like the 35 year old adult I am.
By no means am I past my strange experiences from this past year, but I have to ask myself, how many others are so much worse off than I am? And using the poor job market as an excuse doesn’t count… I could sub, or work at McDonalds for that matter.
I suppose I have been dragging my feet because I feel like my next choices are going to be the one’s that I will have to live with for the rest of my life, but if my experiences from this past year have taught me anything, it should be that at anytime I can pick up and change direction if I want to. That is a loaded statement and I could rationalize SO much with it, but that’s for another post…
So, I will sub. I need to figure out what I will do with Lainey in the morning and getting her to school, and find someplace for Ella to go on short notice when necessary. But I will do it, because so many other people are in more worse predicaments than I.
Thanks to those of you who gave me the wake up call I needed to stop dragging ass. I’m not saying it won’t happen again, but at least I’ve figured it out for the moment.